Decoding "Gen" and "Side": Navigating the Evolving Lexicon of Gay Culture and Beyond

In a world where language evolves at warp speed, keeping up with the latest slang, acronyms, and community-specific terms can feel like a full-time job. This is especially true within dynamic communities like the LGBTQ+ sphere and online fandoms, where new expressions emerge daily to define experiences, preferences, and identities. Among these, the term "gen" often pops up, carrying surprisingly disparate meanings depending on its context. And just when you think you've got it figured out, new terms like "side" challenge traditional binaries, prompting us to rethink how we categorize ourselves and others.

So, what does "gen" really mean? And what's the story behind "side"? Let's dive deep into the fascinating world of modern terminology, exploring its various interpretations and the impact these words have on connection, community, and self-expression.

"Gen" on Dating Apps: Unpacking "Generous"

If you've ever scrolled through dating apps like Grindr, you might have encountered profiles with "gen" listed as a descriptor. In this context, particularly within gay male dating circles, "gen" is a widely recognized shorthand for "generous."

On dating platforms, "gen" typically implies a willingness to offer or receive financial compensation or gifts in exchange for companionship, sexual acts, or other interactions. It's a discreet way for users to signal their expectations regarding a transactional dynamic.

While the term itself is simple, its implications are multifaceted. For some, it might signify a clear arrangement, a way to establish boundaries and expectations upfront. For others, it can be a source of confusion or even concern, highlighting the commercial aspects that sometimes intertwine with personal connections on these platforms. It's crucial for users to exercise caution and ensure clear communication when engaging with profiles that include this descriptor, prioritizing safety and consent above all else.

Beyond the Binary: The Emergence of "Side" on Grindr

While "gen" speaks to a financial dynamic, another recently introduced term on Grindr, "side," addresses a different, yet equally significant, aspect of sexual identity and preference. Added to the app's "position" options in mid-2023, "side" describes men who enjoy all forms of sexual activity except for anal penetration.

For decades, gay male sexual culture has been largely defined by a strict binary: "top" (the penetrative partner) and "bottom" (the receptive partner), with "versatile" (or "verse") bridging the two. The introduction of "side" marks a revolutionary step, challenging this entrenched framework and creating space for a previously underserved group.

The Roots of the "Side" Movement

The concept of "side" didn't emerge overnight. It gained significant momentum thanks to the pioneering work of figures like Dr. Joe Kort, a prominent therapist specializing in sex and relationships. Frustrated by the lack of language to describe men who found fulfillment outside of penetrative sex, Dr. Kort founded a private Facebook group called "Side Guys" more than a year and a half ago. This group quickly became a haven for men worldwide seeking acceptance and understanding.

Community Growth: Membership in the "Side Guys" group doubled to over 5,000 within eight months, demonstrating the widespread need for such a designation.
Visibility Campaigns: Dr. Kort leveraged platforms like TikTok, creating videos to spread awareness about "side." Other influencers, including model Barrett Pall and comedian Michael Henry, further amplified the message through their own content, sparking viral discussions and garnering millions of views.
Challenging Norms: The "side" movement directly confronts the heteronormative notion that sex must involve penetration to be valid or fulfilling. Dr. Kort views this as an opportunity for gay men to redefine sexual satisfaction on their own terms, liberating themselves from societal pressures.

The "side" designation also offers a vital pathway for men who experience erectile issues, as non-penetrative techniques can often make orgasm more accessible and enjoyable. It highlights a broader truth: sexual intimacy encompasses a vast spectrum of activities, from kissing and oral sex to mutual masturbation and cuddling, all of which are deeply satisfying and valid.

The widespread adoption of "side" reflects a larger cultural shift, particularly among younger generations who are actively dismantling traditional binaries in identity and sexuality. As one writer, Bobby Box, who championed the term's inclusion on Grindr, observed, this is about recognizing a community and fostering a sense of belonging for those who previously felt invisible.

Ultimately, the "side" movement is about empowerment, visibility, and the freedom to define one's own sexual expression without shame or limitation. It's a powerful reminder that language has the power to validate experiences and reshape cultural narratives.

"Gen" in Fandom: A Different Kind of "General"

Just when you thought you had "gen" figured out, let's pivot to an entirely different realm: fanfiction. In the vast and creative universe of fan-made stories, "gen" takes on a meaning that has absolutely nothing to do with generosity or financial transactions. Here, "gen" is short for "general," signifying fanworks that contain no romantic or sexual content, whether heterosexual (het) or homosexual (slash).

This definition has deep roots in the history of fanfiction, particularly within early Star Trek fandoms. Before explicit content became prevalent, most fan stories were "gen" by default. As fanworks evolved and started to explore romantic relationships and sexual themes, the need for categorization arose, giving birth to terms like "slash" (male-male romance/sex) and "het" (male-female romance/sex).

In fanfiction, "gen" means the story focuses on plot, character development, action, or exploration of the fictional universe, without a primary emphasis on romantic pairings or sexual intimacy.

The Nuances and Debates of "Gen" in Fandom

While seemingly straightforward, the "gen" label in fanfiction has been a source of considerable debate and evolving interpretations over the years:

Historical Context: Initially, "gen" encompassed everything that wasn't explicit, even if it contained mild heterosexual romance. As "slash" gained prominence and romance became a dominant genre, "gen" increasingly narrowed to mean "non-romantic" or "non-sexual."
"Pre-Slash" vs. "Gen": A common point of contention is "pre-slash," stories that feature intense male friendships or emotional connections that could develop into slash, but don't explicitly cross that line within the narrative. Some authors might label these "slashy gen" or "pre-slash" to manage reader expectations, while others argue that the author's intent should determine the tag.
Visibility Challenges: Many "gen" authors express frustration that their works often receive less attention and feedback compared to romance- or sex-focused fanfics. Fanfiction archives are frequently organized by "pairings," making it harder for readers seeking non-romantic content to find "gen" stories.
Shifting Definitions: What constituted "gen" in the 1970s or 1990s might be viewed differently today. As canon media includes more diverse relationships (e.g., a canonical gay couple in a TV show), the lines blur. Does a story featuring a brief kiss between canonical same-sex partners, but without sexual focus, count as "gen" or "slash"? The answer often depends on the specific fandom's prevailing conventions.

Despite these complexities, "gen" remains a vital category, allowing authors to delve into world-building, character studies, adventure, and plot-driven narratives without the obligation of romantic subplots. It ensures a diverse ecosystem of fan-created content, catering to a wide range of reader preferences.

The Power of Evolving Language and Inclusivity

The journey through the meanings of "gen" and the emergence of "side" underscores a critical point: language is a living, breathing entity, constantly adapting to reflect our experiences, identities, and evolving understanding of the world.

Whether it's signaling a specific type of interaction on a dating app, carving out a new space for sexual identity, or categorizing narrative themes in fanfiction, these terms serve powerful purposes:

Clarity and Efficiency: Shorthand terms allow for quick, often discreet, communication within specific communities.
Validation and Visibility: New terminology can validate previously unnamed or marginalized experiences, fostering a sense of belonging and reducing shame. The "side" designation is a perfect example of this.
Empowerment: When individuals have the words to describe themselves accurately, it contributes to self-acceptance and agency.
Community Building: Shared language strengthens bonds within communities, creating insider knowledge and a sense of collective identity.

Understanding these evolving lexicons requires context, an open mind, and a willingness to learn. It's not just about knowing what a word means, but appreciating the cultural narratives, historical shifts, and personal experiences that give it weight.

Conclusion: Navigating the Future of Connection

From the practical shorthand of "gen" on dating apps to the liberating inclusivity of "side," and the nuanced categorizations of "gen" in fanfiction, these terms illustrate the richness and fluidity of modern communication. They remind us that our identities, preferences, and connections are far too complex to be confined by rigid definitions.

As we continue to navigate an increasingly interconnected digital world, an awareness of these specialized vocabularies becomes invaluable. It fosters not just clearer communication, but also empathy, respect, and a deeper appreciation for the diverse tapestry of human experience. So, the next time you encounter a new term, instead of dismissing it, consider it an invitation to explore a new facet of our ever-expanding linguistic universe.

What new terms are shaping your community? Share your insights and join the ongoing conversation about language and identity!